Agencies that offer assistance to fathers in Jamaica

Agencies that offer assistance to fathers
Jamaican Gleaner Published: Monday | July 6, 2009

Father’s Incorporated
Provides counselling to fathers and assists in creating a positive image of fatherhood as well as to help men to develop better parenting skills. Meetings are held every last Thursday at the Women’s Centre of Jamaica Foundation at 42 Trafalgar Road. However, there is no fixed site for the group.

Tel: 977-0135 (Department of Sociology University of the West Indies).

Child Development Agency

Provides services for parents who have a difficulty with children. This executive agency under the Ministry of Health has the responsibility of providing a nurturing environment for children in need of care and protection.

Tel: 948-2841; 948-7206

Address: 2 King Street, Kingston. (There are also several other centres across the island.)

Office of the Children’s Advocate

Directs parents and guardians to where they can receive assistance such as PATH. This office is against child labour, therefore, parents are encouraged to seek the relevant assistance as it is their duty to be the primary providers.

Tel: 948-3279; 948-1293; 948-3371.

Programme of Advancement through Health and Education (PATH)

This arm of the Ministry of Labour and Social Security aims to improve the level of education and health among Jamaicans who are considered poor. Assistance is given to children from age 0-18 years. Social workers are also available to provide counselling for parents who have difficulties with their children. (Counselling is done at the local office in each parish).

Tel: 922-8000-9

Address: 14 National Heroes Circle.

The Family Court

Provides counselling among other services.

Tel: 922-6183; 922-0001; 967-2546

Address: 55A Duke Street, Kingston.

LONGING FOR FATHER

He is slim built young man in his twenties. His smile hides his inner pain. He laughs but gets into trouble because he speaks his mind too easily. Feels the world is against him. Everyone misses his attempt at being good he says. He is always overlooked. But he remembers the days when his dad was alive and it was not like that. His dad was so proud of him. Protected himself and his brother, played with them, challenged them to be strong, to work hard and to love life. But cancer took him away and from that moment in time life changed for him. Changed for the family. There were days of no food and days of no direction. But he remembered his father and pressed on. I listened to his story. His father loved him and boldly told him so. At least he had a legacy of love. So many dont have this. but it did not take away the longing for father. When a father is lost whether it is to death, or work, or the drink, or a life of meaningless the whole family is affected. But when a father leaves a legacy of love the family finds strength to go on and face the storms of life. I reminded this young man that his father stood against the odds and yet found a way to care for himself and his family and that he must keep pressing forward. He looked away for a  monent and then smile because he remembered his fahters words. I see greatness in you….keep going son, keep going!. What kind of legacy are you leaving as a father.

The burden our Children bear…..

I recently had the opportunity to chat with a couple men about what it was like to grow up without a father. One young man look me straight in the eye and said i lost something and i will never get it back. He recalls when it was time to do his major exams at High school level, his mother sent for his father to request help in paying for the fees. She thought, well let me ask just this one time as she had shouldered the care of their child alone all through his childhood to this time.  Probing my eyes to see what would be my response he said

“the man told my mother she must go and take out a loan as he had no money and time to address that issue.

He has  not seen his father since then and now he is in his mid twenties. He sighed deeply….then he told me.

You are the first man to take an interest in my affairs…i feel as if a burden has been lifted. At least I have someone with whom i can speak to about life.

A big smile filled his face and his eyes glistened with a tears. I sat still then and i though to myself What a burden the Children of this land bear. 

Having a father to listen and to take up the responsibility to provide and care for his children is critical for the sound development of children. I cannot overemphasize this. 

For children who who grow up with a father who is alive and well; not to have his approval, his protection, his love, his hugs, his words of caution, is to leave them feeling lost and angry. Because sometimes mother is just not enough!.

Walk good till next time.

Adopt a Son in 2009

Soon 2008 will fall behind us like a shadow!. It has been a memorable year. I for one have learnt the importance of my father in my life as I have taken on the mandate to father some men who have lost their fathers mostly through emotional and physical abandonment. As I though of what to share to close this blog for this year. The motto Adopt a son in 2009 emerged from my unconscious. I challenge men in the Jamaican Community who have the ways and the means to adopt a Son in 2009. i Would also like to work towards changing the laws for adoption in Jamaica to allow for adoption of adults to facilitate the transference of a heritage to the many who never were given the opportunity to belong. Let us invest in the future of this Nation and Region. Walk good!

The consequences of lack of fathering

The following link to Father.com…The National Center for Father (USA) begs for your reading.  http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=391

He walked all the way to Punda

I recently took Steve and my wife to Curacao N.A. on a little vacation trip to visit friends and to do some work. One of the highlights of the trip was going into Puda (Downtown Willemstad) to meet friends and do a little shopping. Steve had a blast going from one store to the next. It was also his first trip overseas and it was amazing to see him adjust to the new culture and make new friends. One day We were hungry and I had wanted Chicken with potatoes to eat for lunch. Steve took it upon himself to go find food for us as we had by this time moved into a rented apartment for a couple days before our return home. He left me in the kitchen preparing my presentation for the meeting we were to attend. I noted that an hour had passed and no Steve. I began to become greatly concerned because there were shopping facilites very close to where we had taken up residence. So it should not have taken that long to purchase food and return. Two hours passed and I could not get him on the phone…fortunately we had a local Digicel phone to use to make calls….no Steve. I went out side looking up and down the road looking to see my son. My thoughs are racing now, I send him a SMS text telling him to come home we would ok if we did not eat until later. No response. So I decided to take it slow and focus on my prepration. Steve finally returned. He was dripping wet and exhausted from the tropical heat. He gave little explanation for his long departure except to say at first that he went exploring. It was while I was eating that he casually asked if I like the food. I expressed my feelings about the food that it was great. That was when he told me he walked 8 kilomters from Santa Rosa to and 4 kilometers from Punda home to buy what I wanted. “The bus was running too slow for me” he said. I was in shock and could only reflect on the Love and growing loyalty of my son. I thanked him and you should have seen the look of satisfaction upon his smiling face. Till next time!

The Rights of a Father…….A Jamaican mans cry for his son

Deprived of my rights as a father
published: Saturday | October 4, 2008

The Editor, Sir:

I am writing this letter in wake of the recent brutal killings of children in our country. Now, most people are quick to blame fathers for their lack of support for their children, when in fact, the society needs to take a closer look at some of the mothers.

I have a two-year-old son whom I haven’t seen since late January and his mother has made sure I don’t get to see my son as since May 11 this year, I haven’t heard from her.

She has not answered my calls and I went to where she lives on several occasions only to find no one home.

For the last two years, I have sacrficed my own needs to support my son, and in April of this year his mother sent me a text message saying I wasn’t his real father. When I demanded a DNA paternity test, she refused and told me to stop calling her as it was affecting her current relationship.

Wants paternity test

I got a lawyer friend of mine to call her and she called me saying I have my woman calling her. I told her I wanted to do a paternity test to determine if she is telling the truth or not. I asked her if I wasn’t the boy’s father then who was, she declined to tell me. I asked where he was and she said she didn’t know. At the time, she was living in Rock River, Clarendon.

All my efforts to contact her have been futile. Right now, I’m being denied my rights as a father and my son is being denied his father. When I was struggling to support my son, it was me alone, no one else. I made sure he had everything.

When you check all around, you find agencies dedicated to women all across Jamaica, What about the rights of fathers? Are we not important or should not have any say in our children’s lives? This situation is not uncommon in Jamaica because I know for a fact more than 20 persons who were denied their rightful fathers. Most men just give up as it is the easier thing to do. I promise this, I will not rest until I find my son.

I am, etc.,

CURTIS BARKER

alexcbark@hotmail.com

Via Go-Jamaica

My Son John

He stands over six feet in height with a heart of courage as large as the Blue mountain range. Ambitious, he has dreams of becoming a computer engineer par excellence. As you listen to him dream, you know one day this will become reality. When you look into his eyes you see flashes of anger mixed with sadness, mixed with hope. It seems to burn deep within his soul. His anger has history behind it. His anger has pain, mixed with anguish, from the many nights of loneliness, grief and confusion. He saw his father killed at his footsteps by the man who was to become his step father. He still has flash backs of that watershed moment. You see it when he holds back his tears and stoically reminds himself, it is the past, though it feels like today that he saw his fathers life leave his eyes. It is so fresh he can see and feel the moment, because so vivid are the memories. How he loved that man…his father was everything to him. His strength, his provider, his protector, his confidant, his friend. A ten year old worships his father. John was one of these who was connected at the heart to his father. That was twelve years ago. He lives with his mother in their home somewhere in Paradise. He has no hatred towards this man who took his father away. Its the love for his mother and his God that makes this very special young man live. Hr says the call to vengance has evaporated.

John is now my son. I adopted him emotionally as my own. He is now a part of my family. Though I did not bring him into the world, as long as i have breath I will be there for him. Now he will tell others that he is no longer an orphan in his spirit, but that he belongs. So how did he become my son you ask. Simply I saw him in church one day and somehow felt there was something unique about this young man. He asked me to pray for him and from that moment I saw his heart. That was enough. Now I have the privilege to do what his father could not do. To see his son’s dreams become reality. dream on my son John……

I have always loved my father….

I have always loved my father! did not always understand him though. When I was 13 I was big enough to wear his clothes and in those days it was Bush-jackets. I took great pride when anyone told me I looked like “Mas Vic”. Due to my malfunctioning thyroid and pituitary gland i weighed 380 lbs. and suffered from the emotional toll the illness took upon my young Psyche. But I loved looking like dad, i loved the smell of his Old Spice Cologne and would secretly bath in his old Spice Soap because it smelt great and helped me identify with this hard working man who took care of six children.

He gave me strength. He still gives me strength to keep going despite the challenges of life. My dad survived two fires that affected his business long-term, the betrayal of friends who took his ideas and made no mention of him. but he kept on going!

It was he who told me of God’s hand upon my life and call to Christian Ministry. What a legacy!

He has a passion for politics and service to others which is quickly engaged by simply watching the news with him or hear him discuss some current affair. Like any Jamaican male he can be quite passionate and opinionated. He just turned 72 last week and has entered semi-retirement. Hes the kind of man who wont stop working as long as he can get up and move. I am like that in many ways.

I like it when my father will call me at work to ask how I am, to encourage me in his own way; I like it when he cooks his own brand of fish head soup and offers some of it to me. I like it when he greets me at the door and give this forty five year old man a hug and kiss. so you see why I love my father. I believe I understand him better now.

Hello world!

Welcome to a blog specifically focused on the relationship between Caribbean men and their fathers. It provides an opportunity for Caribbean sons to speak to their fathers. to talk about the joys, the heartaches, and the legacy their fathers have left them. In my Clinical practice I meet many men who carry what some call the “Father wound” the residual effects of dysfunctional relationships with father. Many Caribbean men don’t know their fathers, maybe were not owned by their father at birth or later when it was discovered that a child was born to him. There are many Caribbean men who are excellent fathers and their sons and daughters have a legacy to show for it. I provide opportunity for their voices to be heard as well.